“First of all it was October, a rare month for boys.”
— Ray Bradbury
I meant to write this post much earlier in the month and now here we are, November 1, so it’s really now or never before I lose my October to October cleverness. But last night, the girls closed out October with a tour of the neighborhood, en costume, for buckets of free candy in the rain. They made their appropriate sacrifices of unloved chocolates to their father as one does.
As I look back across the year, it’s been a big one in a lot of ways.
Last October, after compiling the bare essentials in notes and a re-listen to The Psalms of Isaak, I broke ground on my new series Pilgrims of the Dream and laid down the first chapter before heading off to Orycon (2024) where Kristi Charish, Sarah Chorn and I pulled off the second New Evolution of a Writing Career. I came home from the con and saw the prelude I needed to write and then bogged down after the election.
Most of us with functional hearts, minds and souls have been bogged down — swamped even — by the election results and what we knew would be coming on the heels of this madness. I was working with a nonprofit writing org on an update to their strategic plan and saw all of our will, our drive, our momentum suddenly gunk up and slow down, like we were moving through thigh-high mud in an unanticipated swamp of grief and fear. When we met for our retreat in January, I did a reset and added into our process how to face these changes that we saw coming. How to be an organization that accessed resilience and provided a place where people can resist, rest, find refuge and family while weathering — and facing — the storm, and provide support to those who are able to speak truth to power. And what we’re seeing now is what we were saying would happen. It’s had me re-t00l and re-imagine my work through that lens as a writer, a singer-songwriter, a former community organizer and developer. I spent decades moving away from my conservative, evangelical (even fundamentalist) beliefs and I know now that social conservatism is a resistance to life and change…often brought about by a low level of understanding about how life and self really work. A lot of those folks end up in the same Fake Christianity I fell into and I’m still seeing it play out among those family and friends from that world that I still have any connection with. Having been a Fake Christian (and Real GOPer) for so many years, I have a strong visceral reaction to the hypocrisy. “We’re pro life but we love our guns more than our children.” “We’re pro love but only if you love the way we believe, based on our religion, you should love.” “We’re pro Bible but only in the places where it serves our belief system, we like ignoring the bits about shrimp and beards and polyester and prefer misinterpreting the passages that support our social conservatism.”
So there’s that. I’ve recently reached out to the local Democratic party office and have offered up my various Knowledge, Skills and Abilities to help. This is a two party system that is headed toward a one party system because a small group of angry white straight Fake Christians and some oligarchs don’t like the alternatives. As far as I can see it, our only shot at recovery is for folks to rally around the only party that believes in the Constitution. Having sworn two oaths to defend it (and to only follow lawful orders) I’m shifting my focus to helping get that message out. I live in a 62% Hispanic community and we already have ICE here with its gestapo tactics. Portland, which is NOT on fire, is just 30 minutes east. One day, I hope we’ll be talking about the bonfires of MAGA hats and Trump flags and how the sleeping giant of the Real America woke up and exorcised this present darkness from our democratic republic. The GOP and its complicity in Project 2025 these last 9 months has proven that they cannot be trusted. Something new I hope will rise up from their ashes.
Or…we lose this experiment that we never quite figured out in the first place. For the first time in my life, I have an escape plan from the country that I love and served.
That has been maybe the biggest and toughest part of my October to October. And seeing that small group of people with their self righteous Ugly.
Second to that, I’ve had some health stuff. A wee bit of a cancer scare in the spring that turned out to be a something but a lower case s something that just needs to be monitored. It was, however, a clarifying event: I saw clearly that I was moving in the right direction and had a lovely epiphany regarding my best friend, Virginia. That epiphany led to a big summer project of setting up the New Den of Ken and library, and to a lot of editing of spaces and stuffs, as we moved her into the Scholes Cathedral of Wonder and Care. It’s been a wonderful transition.
Of course, the health stuff has continued. In the spring, my VA disability claim was partially approved (knee and hip) and I appealed the areas denied (back and ankle.) I finally pursued it all because I knew as I aged those areas would sprout new problems and sure enough, in August my back went out and we’re still trying to get it sorted here in the fall. My VA medical benefits are now active and will support. And in September, after 11 years, I returned to Chicago for a tune up, had another PRF SGB with Dr Lipov and felt immediate results. I would’ve benefited going back a few years ago but like a frog in a kettle, I wasn’t aware of the symptoms until they were really coming on stronger. Now, it’s back to gentle, easy flow.
Convention wise, I hit Orycon in 2024, then Lizzy and I debuted at AnthroNorthwest where I taught short story writing, talked about C-PTSD and played music. It was a wonderful, welcoming convention and we’re going back (with Virginia) in January. I skipped Norwescon and then was at Worldcon for the launch of my new collection, Better Dreams Fallen Seeds and Other Handfuls of Hope now out from Fairwood Press. I missed Orycon — the last Orycon — because of my back. But I’m on board to bring the whole fam damily to Norwescon next Easter.
Music wise, no progress on my albums but other things have taken precedent and we’ll get there when we get there. My back has led to me reducing my roadtrips for music making. But when I do go, I have an ergo stool and a much better set up that’s kinder on my back and body. This year I’ve started playing the Oregon Veterans Home every two or three months and I’m hoping to keep that show. I’ve also played McMenamins Grand Lodge Garage Door a few times and have had a great time there. I’m hoping that will turn into a regular gig where I can build an audience of creatives — several aspiring writers have approached me there based on the mention of it in my bio. We shall see how it all unfolds.
So now, I journey onward. I have a book to finish. I have other projects too — all moving slow — like my self help book Understanding Life & Self, and my self reflective family research written/musical/spoken word project The Ghosts in my Bones. But I’m also settling into the last two years of my daughters’ high school experience and the launching of a new partnership while navigating the waters of disability and the destruction of my country.
It’s a lot.
Good thing I’m strong. Trailer Boy strong.
And now, it’s November. Less rare than October for me. But potent nonetheless. Go buy my new book now please for yourself or a friend. 🙂